Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Hi fellas,

Transformation is never easy for it requires every single cell in your body to agree with it. To live in the past is synonymous with me and my way of living. However, it is not like the end of the world if I were to change, a bit. There are so many things that I do today, are not really what I used to do back then. I can't help but to notice it bit by bit. Is this good and worthy? Perhaps it is.

I used to think that pink is not my colour. It represents softness and above all WOMEN. I would not imagine myself having any furniture or even clothing in pink. No offense, fellas. I thought it was lame... Now, I find out that pink is a wonderful colour and very soothing to look at. It does not degrade a man and his so called 'toughness' if one were to wear pink. In fact, it brings up glow and tenderness in a man. Mmmm... Am I turning into what I think I am...? Nope. Still hard...oppsss...you don't wanna go there, fellas. What I am saying is I now officially have two pink T-shirts, a pink shirt, a pink tie, a pink bed spread, and a pink computer table. Wow... not to mention, I have a soft toy which I called 'Pinky' simply because she is pink. What...? A soft toy?! Oh dear... don't get me wrong. I am still a man. And, I am wearing an over-sized pink long trainer while I am typing this post. What the heck am I doing...?

My wardrobe used to be pale and dull. I have black T-shirts more than one can imagine. Grey is another colour which I used to love because people say that grey is the new black...yea right. Grey is grey and black is black. Most of my shirts were either black, grey, or dark blue. Boring huh...? But now, I have more colourful shirts and T-shirts in my wardrobe. Why...? Keep on reading, fellas.

One other thing is that, I love ghost stories but I have no guts to watch them alone. I hate it so much when it shocks me. I couldn't sleep well after watching them. I imagined many things and 99.9% of it was ghost. I hated it so much. I don't mind watching two guys strangling each other and shooting at each other but not ghost. On the contrary, now, I have two whole stacks of DVD folders with all ghost movies in them. Weird huh...? Now, read carefully, I did not mention that I love them, I still hate them but I find it more thrilling to watch them... not alone. I still use my dearly bolster to cover my view once in a while especially when the scary scenes are coming up. Chicken huh...? Nope. Just hate to be scared. Why is this happening...?

Though transformation is not an easy thing to be done but it would not hurt to try especially when life seems to be predictable. There is no more thrill in pursuing it hence it is pointless. It is like when one can guess what is coming next, well then, it is the right time for one to change.

The answer to all of the changes in me is MY BB. Thanks to my BB for inspiring me and always believe in me. She is my wardrobe's advisor and of course, my psychologist especially in the ghost thingy. You know what I mean. It is not an award winning and a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious kind of transformation, after all. The most vital thing is I have found the NEW ME. Not bad at all, I would say.

Not bad at all...

Humanity...? Why...?

Hi fellas,

Have you fellas ever wonder why we are all here? Sometimes, I have this slightly crazy thought that pops into my mind. I ask myself now and then. I know people are born and people die. But, what is the reason for the existence of us all here in this tiny world? Mmmm...?

Now, I asked a couple of friends before. They told me that God has created us all and He wants us to see with our own eyes, feel with our heart, taste with our senses, think with our brain and believe in all the creations are made by HIM. Well, that makes sense but still it does not answer the question and doubt that I have in mind. Why? Why are we here? Don't tell me that because He wants us to experience all of these and then says, "Hey there, I am THE CREATOR". Just that? That sounds lame to me.

I don't mean to mock anyone's beliefs or thoughts here. I just need some clarification on the purpose of being here today. I believe in reasoning. Everything that we have today has its own reason to be here. Nothing is created or invented without a purpose, right?

I understand some people who read this post would think that I sound rather disturbing. Well, consider this, we were born, then we get education, then we work and we have families, and then we die. Life is too short and seems rather too simple if we put it that way. Now, please take note, this is not a suicide note or something, okay. Just something to ponder upon.

Some people say that life seems too short but it serves a great deal of purpose like, we challenge ourselves, we reach for the star, we explore new dimensions, we invent countless inventions, we help others, we push ourselves to the limit and finally we DESTROY the world. Big joke huh...? That's it... Ahha...! Eureka! I guess I have found something here. Houston we have a problem!

Fella readers, whether we realize it or not, we are the source of destruction to the world. Despite all of the SAVE the WORLD campaigns and petitions all around the world, we clearly do not know or probably are blinded by our own greed and selfishness, that we are destroying the world hence the future... The message is simple. The signs are everywhere. The fact that, humanity is like some type of virus (sounds like The Matrix, huh), a deadly virus that consumes and then destroys itself and everything around it. That's who we are. With all the masks unveiled, we are no better than predators. Think...

That's why...

Ugly Side...

Hi fellas,

If life were too simple and easy, no one would care for it so much. Life indeed requires a lot of sacrifices and efforts to make it more interesting and challenging. I know at this age, a man has to do what a man has to do. I consider myself a very lucky person for I know when to start and when to stop.

Five years ago, I was not an angel... I guess everything seemed to be worthless at that time. I did many things which I did not do and did not expect to do in my entire life. I started smoking. I started drinking and of course with all of these two addictions... discos and clubs were just around the corner. I spent most of my weekends having fun with some people I called "friends". To be honest, I did not even know their real names... Life was a bitch at that time. I had so much cash in hand. I did not know where to spend. I ended up drinking and having fun. For me, the word fun was limitless. I did not care about tomorrow. I thought life was just nothing but enjoying the moment and then when the time comes... that's the end of it.

I was a broken man. I had no dreams, for once in my life. I had no direction. I had only two options... to be or not to be. I forgot that there were other options which I failed or maybe refused to see. I was not sure of everything. I worked...then I enjoyed like there was no tomorrow. I thought I had failed in life when I lost a person that I loved so much at that time. I changed.

Then, one morning I decided to move away from the life that I had. I looked deep into my heart and had a little thought in me. Life is not about what a person loses but what a person can do to keep oneself sane when one is challenged with such a great loss. For one moment, I stood still and looked as far as I could. There were something in me, crying and calling for help. My soul and my sanity were sad. I realized that I could not keep on treating myself that way for it brought more hazard than good. All the perils and sadness were a part of life. I fooled no one but myself. I had to mend my broken heart and be sane.

For the last three years, ever since I moved to this new place, calmness has welcomed me with open arms. And, I made an effort to keep it that way. I slowed down my drinking but I can't stop smoking. Still not an angel, yet. Until one day, I just realized, liquors were totally out of my life. I stopped going to discos and clubs. I became an occasional drinker but only beer. I drink just for fun not till I drop like I used to. I noticed the changes in me. I became sober and that is the man who I am now.

Deep down in me, I am proud of what I could do. I never expect that I would be able to stop what I had started. It was not ugly to some people but I am glad that I am finally out of that circle now. Maybe life has got something more wonderful to be shared with me, after all.

Never regret...

Back2U

Hi fellas,

Ok...ok... I know that I have been missing for a few months now. I know some of my readers probably have left. I know that I have abandoned my blog for quite a while now. But, good news is... I am BACK! Does anybody miss me, after all? Yes...Nope...?

Since last August, there have been quite a lot of things happening in my little life. One of them is, I have attended two wonderful wedding parties. Not my weddings, of course. I found out that I have earned a few new friends and they are wonderful people. Besides that, I went on a vacation. Again, it was such a wonderful vacation when everything was unplanned and everyone was so happened to be in one place. What else could I ask for? Perfect combinations. We had a lot of fun and unexpected 'joy' too. Other than that, work...work...work...and work... Interesting huh?

Then, without noticing it, time flies like a jet plane. Here we are, at the end of the year. It feels like I haven't done much in this year yet. Why is that so? I don't know... Two answers perhaps, One, I could have done something really really good and I did not notice the time and Two...I could probably have done nothing and yet I enjoyed it... That makes sense, right...?

Well, the answer to the questions why I abandoned my blog for a while is because I need time to think and to collect what is left in me and the world around me. Sometimes, it is good to pause for a while and then perhaps I can come back with new and fresh ideas. Who knows... I hope to share more of me to dear fella readers. And, there will be some photos in this blog, too ( if I can find one that suits).

Do drop me a comment or two. I still love to hear from my fella readers. I don't really mind the nature of your comments...the tone... the words... in fact, I would love to be criticized...if you may. I want to hear what have you got in mind and the reasons why do you think so...

Fellas, love it or hate it...

Stepping Up...

In life, one has to be brave to face any forms of challenges. I know some prefer to play safe and try their best to be in a safe zone. In my case, life is not always the way it is expected. Sometimes life kills me but up until today, I am still standing straight and I am proud to be able to withstand the toughest time of life.

People would not believe that I once was pretty poor. I accept the fact that I was born in a small and poor family. Life was somewhat different those days. I simply had no expectations whatsoever in life. I thought my life would just end up in my little town where everything seems to be simple and slow. Every time I had a chance to tell my beloved students about how life can be changed if one dares to accept the fact and dares to accept challenges without having scared of what consequences would be like. Life itself is already a risk. There’s nothing one can do. Nothing…

When I look back at the time when I was a freshman in my college, a little tear would fall down without my acknowledgement. I know, people may not be able to feel how bad the situation is but to sigh… There was once I used to spend my evenings collecting 5 cents coins in front of Giant Supermarket in Section 17, Shah Alam. I would wander about like a vulture, scrutinizing every corner of the parking lot, just to collect as much as I could for my breakfast or perhaps lunch too. There’s nothing to be ashamed off. I didn’t steal. I collected them.

When I was a lot younger, both of my parents had to work hard but the money was never enough. It was not because we lavishly spent but because of the salary was too little to live by. My dad earned RM15 per day! And, my mom had to make curry puffs to be sold in our village. I understood the hardship that they both had gone through. There were times too, when we had nothing to eat but rice. My mom would make porridge and I ate it with a dash of sugar as a flavor. At weekends, my dad and I would go to a jungle to catch some quails and sometimes we fished. We caught a few and those were our food for the whole week.

Sometimes, I just feel that, life is just a phase and I believe in myself. I never expected my parents to understand simply because they too were difficult at that time. I did not want to burden their life. We survived. I made it. Though I am not a rich man now but I have enough food to eat and pretty decent clothes to wear. I always believe in myself.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going…

Hypocrisy...

Hi fellas,

People say being oneself is the best. Honesty is always being the real issue in life. Most people would rather be someone who they are not. Speaking of which, this post is going to talk about hypocrisy. We may have heard of this little word day in and day out in our lives. Whether or not it makes any difference is something to ponder upon.

All my life, I have seen tons of people who I can stamp as being hypocrite. I wonder how does it feel like to be one? For all I know people keep on being one even though it is just not the way a person should live in. Probably it is just what society wants people to be like and to act without realizing the effect of it.

As blunt as I can be, being hypocrite is just a part of human nature. But, I prefer not to let it ruin my life. I have pretty good examples to support how bad hypocrisy is. Every Friday, most Muslim men are required to perform their Friday Prayer. And, I don’t see anything wrong with practicing what one believes in. I certainly have no intention of mocking or making fun of this matter especially when it comes to religious issues. But, there is one thing which bothers me the most. Most of these people, who I used to know a long time ago, performed their prayer just because the rest are doing it. Not entirely because they want to do it for themselves. Now, why is this wrong? Well, this is not only about being hypocrite but also an act of mocking and making fun of their very own religion.

That is the way I see it. Don’t blame me for saying this. If they know that their God is the Greatest and the most Knowledgeable in this world, then why in the hell these people still believe that they would get away from being dishonest and hypocrite. They all know that anything that they do is based on their honesty. They are there not because of it but because they feel shy if they don’t go. Their friends who go and pray would say so many things about those little fellas who do not go. So, in order to satisfy their friends they just pretend to be there. Oh come on… get real. I think they would rather be sitting down over a glass of ‘teh tarik’ than being in a crowded mosque. I guess this is not the only case, after all.

That was just the tip of an ice berg. I find it rather strange when some Muslim people drink alcoholic drinks but scared to death of sitting next to a non-Muslim who is eating a bowl of pork noodles. Why is that so? What, pork is prohibited and that’s why they can’t be near to it? What about liquors and beer? Aren’t they prohibited as well? Oppsss… maybe they forgot about it. This is another hypocrisy which has become synonymous to most Malays.

A few days ago, I was engaged in a conversation with a few Muslim people. It was just a simple conversation but I left them with a pretty big question mark of their heads. I know they love drinking and partying, not to mention girls. So, I asked them where they went last weekend. One of them gave me an answer which was really disturbing. He said that Ramadhan is coming up soon. So, Muslims are not allowed to consume any forms of alcoholic drink for at least 40 days before Ramadhan. I laughed when I heard it. And, this is not something new to me. I knew this. And, I said to them this has got nothing to do with Ramadhan or whatsoever. They stopped because of Ramadhan and what will happen after Ramadhan…? They continue drinking? Now, this is sick to hear because they have no respect to their God and above all to their religion. I just can’t believe that how hypocrite some people can be.

Let me be honest to all readers. You fellas may feel that I am mocking other people’s religions and stuffs. Look around you. Look harder if you have to. People can be whoever they want to be. Nobody cares and I personally feel cheated by how pious some Muslim people can be knowing the fact that they are just plain hypocrite. Wouldn’t it be nice if one just choose to be honest and stop pretending to be someone else? The world certainly is going to be a better place for all. A piece of advice to those who feel the pinch of what I have written down here. Please stop imprisoning yourself and be free to choose whatever you want rather than pretending to like what other people like and want.

Just be yourself…

Dare...

Hi fellas,

Recently I had a lot of things to get done and finally I have come to a very good decision. I know this coming project is going to be my first and it will be the mark of my new career in life. This wonderful offer has made me somewhat nervous and confused in the beginning. As time goes by, things are properly sorted out and the whole idea gets clearer. I guess life needs a little change somewhere, somehow.

A few years back my life was a bit difficult and all. I was practically at the bottom of the wheel simply because of some idiot who never fulfill his words and promises. Then, I was a bit lucky for when I was at the verge of falling down a little mercy came in to support me. Then, thing started to sort out on its own. I noticed how life can be very challenging when one is not properly “plugged” onto the right channel. I have come to the understanding that something has got to be done.

For one and a half years of thinking and pacing myself down, I have met a lot of wonderful people. My journey in life has somehow changed. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have got to take this chance and I would not hesitate to do it. Hesitation is the only my worst enemy. I know my limit so far. It is just that I hesitate to try and to channel my energy and my knowledge to the possibility. I guess, my new journey in life is about to begin. And, I am giving this opportunity my best.

When I think of it, there are so many challenges in life and there are also so many chances where some people just refuse to take. This is a mistake. I want to learn how people become rich and famous. I certainly want to become one of these people…either rich or famous…or maybe both. As I said, anyone can be one but hesitation stops some of us to reach our goals in life. Confidence level is high, skills can be nurtured, knowledge can be learnt, and experience can be gained. Thus, there is no way a person can’t be who a person wants it to be. The question is… DO YOU DARE? It is time to come out to the open, for me especially. I have been hiding too long. And, I am not getting any younger. The clock is ticking and every time it ticks... there goes my age and time can never be gained unless if one is able to change oneself for better…

Dare to make a change…

Women + Reality...

Hi fellas

I could see some hot and sizzling traffic came in right after I posted my WHAT WOMEN WANT?. Great! Now, I know I am not making this up. Thanks to some readers who posted their comments and I really appreciate it. Well, all I wanted to say was life can be really meaningful if one tries to stand with both of his or her feet on the ground rather than dreaming of flying high up in the sky. I know this sounds quite normal and it is probably an old news to some. But, most of us don’t realize it how much some of us have forgotten what life requires us all to do and to be. So, why make it complicated?

Now, I am not writing this due to some anger and hatred. This is what I personally feel and I am sincere in voicing out my little thought to the world. Something to share and nothing to lose. The issue of women and men in this world is too broad. Everyone has his or her own words when it comes to this gender issues. Something for us all to ponder upon. Long time ago, women were treated like a second class human beings. They did not have their say in most societies in the world. Then, came a revolution. Women wanted to be recognized and they wanted to have their rights as equal as men. Well, after some bloodshed and ugly stuff happened men decided to allow women to have their say in the society. Later on, women started to compete with men. And, again women proved that they can be as equal as men. But, they have forgotten one thing.

In the midst of their struggle for equality in the world they have defeated themselves by somehow denying who they really are. I personally thought women should try to keep and maintain their identity as women not men. This is where women are defeated simply because men have tried their best to maintain the essence of being men. For instance, men wear pants, women wear too, men smoke, women want it too, men play football, women play football too, etc…etc… Now, what is wrong here? We don’t get to see men wear skirts because women wear skirts, we don’t see men carry handbags because women do, we don’t get to see men wear high heels because women wear high heels…etc…etc… unless some men who were probably born to be half men and half women. But then again, still too many things women do, men don’t do and copy because we know by doing so we are just making ourselves look stupid. Why bother?

Now, please don’t get me wrong, especially to female readers. I just want you to think for a while. I believe there are reasons why God (if there is any) created two different sexes or else why headache. Each one of us, men and women, are both special and distinct. By imitating one means denying and going against the nature of human beings. So, if there is a good reason why women want to live in men’s life, please let me know. Don’t tell me that because men cannot always win, men cannot always be the head and leader, men cannot monopolize all sectors… don’t. We, men don’t want to compete against women, not because some women are simply weaker then men, not because some women are simply not at the same par with men…not because of some silly and nonsense reasons like that. But because we, men know, no matter how hard both sexes are trying the WORLD IS STILL ROUND. Whatever stays on the top one day will have to stay under. There goes what a man think. Why…? This is what we call ‘REALITY’ and it is true. Don’t deny it.

I guess many men out there would agree with me. Women should try to make things simpler and be practical sometimes. There are so many things out there which are way…way… too complicated and I hate to mention this, RELATIONSHIP SHOULD NOT BE COMPLICATED. Enough with all the nonsense and craps all over the place in the world around us but one thing…one little thing called LOVE should be simpler and easier. Women or men have to try to make this thing work.

Reality is hard to accept…

What Women Want?...

Hi fellas,

I guess there is a limit in a person’s life. I know there is time when one feels down and upset and I hate to have either one of them. I know life with a partner is something worth living but sometimes to understand another person’s mind is simply impossible. Women for instance, are a very complicated being. It is hard to get to know them, it is even harder when you are with one of them and to make matter worst, it is impossible to understand them. What do women want?!! The answer is infinity. Maybe they themselves don’t even know what they really want in life.

Some women love to live in fantasy. They want their lives to revolve in this little Fantasy Land. Everything they do is all related to fantasy. Everything they think is merely all subtle fantasy. The truth is we are all living in the little thing we call ‘REALITY’. And, reality is something women can never understand because every ounce of their blood is filled with FANTASY. Now, imagine this, some women want their marriages to be full of fun and laughter, some perhaps want their lives to be famous and glamorous, and there are some who simply want to be rich and treated like a queen or a princess.

Reality check, everyone. There are no such things as listed above. Maybe for those who really own such fortunate fate would refuse to have one. Why? Well, some women who are rich feel left and ignored simply because their partners are busy making bucks…they complain. Some women who are famous and glamorous feel insecure because they scared might not get good partners knowing the nature of their jobs and stuff so… they complain. Some who want their marriages to be full of fun and laughter feel too much of it makes them sick and tired…so…they complain again. What do women want?

Some women who have partners who are not always at home…they complain. Some who have partners who love to come back home right after work…they still complain. Now, what is the matter? What are men supposed to do? Are all men meant to be pushed and pulled around like a bunch of stupid cows? Hello...

Men live their lives based on what reality has offered them. Men change according to situations around them. Men are more practical in making decisions. We, men know what to do and what not to do at certain time or point in our lives. Sometimes men simply do not want to share certain things and women have to respect that. Men always have reasons for what they are doing. Though some reasons may not be as good as what some women want…but then again.. WHO CARES? At least we know what is good and what is not. At least we don’t talk about other people like what some women always do…why? Like I said earlier on…’IT IS IN THEIR BLOOD’. This is not an over generalization. This is a fact and the fact that most women can never be the head of any countries is because there will be more WAR in the world than we already have.

I know some of my readers are women. I am not mocking or even making a hasty generalization here. Why don’t you women think for a while and try to be more open and be decisive sometimes. Trust me, it helps. Both sexes need to coordinate in order to create an equilibrium ecosystem. Both have expectations. Both have choices and preferences. But, the different is most men can easily be understood and very clear in what they want. Some women are just impossible to understand regardless of what men have done in order to satisfy their needs. Please be Specific. Be Practical and Be Real. The next time round when a man were to ask you, women what to eat...please be decisive... The common answer ' Anything' is not what we, men want. I guess women should not only know how to put on make up on their lovely and pretty faces but also have got to learn how TO MAKE UP THEIR MIND too. Life is not always beautiful and don’t try too hard to make it beautiful because if it is not meant to be then it is just a useless attempt. Useless attempts will lead to dissatisfactions and dissatisfactions will lead to nowhere but someone is bound to become a victim… guess who…? MEN.

You fellas can say anything you wish to say. My mind is pretty clear that some women just don’t know how hard a man’s life is and to make it even harder is just not what a man wants. There is always be A WOMAN behind every successful man and there is also always be SOME WOMEN (the type who knows not what she wants) behind some failed and miserable men. Now, this isn’t a fantasy. It is a reality. Some women just can’t see the way men see things and situations. Most men aren’t too judgmental as some women. This is simply because we see things differently and we think many times before we even say or make a move. This is different to how some women think and act. Way… way… different.

My point is dear wonderful women please give your men a little break sometimes or MERCY. We have had enough of bullshit from our work, don’t add up. We have had enough of craps from every corner of our lives please don’t give us another one. We already have enough responsibilities to shoulder upon please don't push us any further. we don't want to end up like a time bomb...waiting to explode. And, when it does...it is pretty ugly. It isn’t hard to satisfy most men… the key is to SMILE HONESTLY. That’s all.

An honest smile worth more than a thousand kisses…

True Friend...

Hi fellas,

People say good friends are hard to find. Indeed I agree with that saying. Life is all about having someone who you can be with and someone who you can trust. As a normal boy back then, I had a lot of friends. Some of them are just friends and some are real close friends. I know the definition of friend can be varied between one individual to another. But for me, friends are meant to be the one who I can assume to be like brothers and sisters, perhaps.

Back in my hometown, I had this one friend. He was a cool person. Cool as in he was very calm and he joked a lot. The thing is he didn’t have many friends. In fact, some boys didn’t like him because they thought he looked kind of weird. My house is close to his. Every time I saw him playing with his little brothers under their house. I wondered why some of my friends didn’t want to invite him to play with us. They told me stories about him and some were just plain ridiculous.

So, one fine day, I went up to him and I greeted him. He smiled and greeted me back. I saw he was fixing his bicycle and his hands were both dirty and oily. I made some small chat with him while my eyes were busy observing him, from his clothes to his behavior. One little thing I noticed that his hands from biceps and below were kind of a bit twisted. I was curious and I almost popped out the questions but then again I didn’t want him to feel bad. Anyway, I invited him to come over to my house to play with some of my little soldiers. He looked at me and smiled, without saying a word, he continued repairing his bicycle. Then, I could feel the existence of coldness in our conversation. I felt kind of a bit strange at first. So, I bid him goodbye and hoped to see him around.

A few days later, while I was playing alone in my house because it was raining, suddenly I heard someone knocking at the door. My mom opened and there he stood with a plastic bag of mangoes. He gave them to my mom and said it was from his father’s orchard. He was half wet and I quickly went to him and I invited him to play with me. However, he didn’t say anything but I insisted him to stay for a while. Then, he stayed and my mom made some orange cordial for both of us to drink and served some biscuits to eat. He was a very shy person. He didn’t speak much and I had to start each and every conversation with him. Then, slowly I could feel that he was a good person but he didn’t have many friends because he was shy. From that day onwards, I often visited him whenever I saw him fixing his bicycle or his brothers’ bicycles. And, he often visited me too. We both slowly became good friends. I learned how to fix bicycle from him. He started to become slightly open to me and he joked more than I expected.

I guess, there is so much in a person to see when one is closer to each other. I would have never expected he was a very calm and lively person to be with. But, he was somehow different when some other friends were around. I probably had this little ‘key’ which could open his true self without having trying so hard. During my school break, I spent my teenage years with him. Sadly, he was not good in a formal education setting. But, deep down, he had some skills in certain areas. He is married now and he has two boys. He does some odd jobs, here and there to keep things going, in my hometown. Whenever I go back to my hometown, I never fail to visit him, collecting some of my old clothes to be given to him, buy a pair of T-shirt or a shirt for him and he never fails to come to my house bringing some traditional cakes and some salted fish for me to bring back to KL. He would sit for hours with me, catching up some stories which I have missed. Then, we would go out and have some meals. Sometimes at night, he would come over and we chat. There is always something to talk about. We both could relate to each other well.

Mutual Friendship…

Gangstarz and Jellyfish...

Hi fellas,

These days reality shows have flooded our TV channels with all sorts of games and competitions. Indeed with all of these shows, some I would say pretty interesting and all. Well, some are just disappointing and lame. Reality shows like Amazing Race, Survivor, Fear Factor, American Idol and The Apprentice are some of the top quality and high rating shows. In fact, these are the shows worth watching and the most awaited shows.

Well, then again, as usual, Malaysians have their own shows too for instance The Firm (which isn’t firm at all) and Gangstarz (would rather call them GangClownz). And, these shows are, sorry to say, not even worth a dime and time. The show like Gangstarz for instance, is just too lame and really disappointing. Up until now, I still do not think that this show can boost the quality of music industry in this country. As far as I am concern, this show is such a big piece of crap. I would say all of the competitors are really suck, big time. Please don’t get me wrong here. If these are the kind of singers or entertainers who will fill the music industry in this country, man…’we ain’t goin’ no where’.

I have a few valid reasons why show like Gangstarz is not worth watching. First of all, these singer wannabes have got no style to be one. Well, though styles can be nurtured but then again, they are just too FAKE to be one. They don’t have what it takes. They are trying way too hard or could it be they are just out of their league. Nothing seems to show their real quality to become one. They have got no identity on their own. Even if they have one, it is too fake and simply mimicking other famous entertainers. Talking about gimmicks and all, too much of it and one can get sick watching it. Again, this happens because they don’t have the talent and flare to be one.

Secondly, though I am not a vocal trainer nor I am a singer, but anyone can tell that these singer wannabes are just tone deaf. They sing out of tune. They can’t even harmonize their voices and not too mention changing other people’s songs and making them sound even worse. I have got one question that I would love to pop out to these singer wannabes. When was the last time they listen… I meant really listen to their voices? Well, that does not include singing in a bathroom. Mother of God, please let these people hear their own voices before they decide to become entertainers whom I personally feel their albums (if they can land one) would miserably go down the drain and, before it causes further damage to ear drums of all Malaysians.

Thirdly, the look. I am sorry to say that most of them have no commercial value at all. I don’t mean that they need to look pretty and handsome to become singers but isn’t that is a part of the requirements to be fulfilled in order to boost the industry. No standard at all. In that case, anyone can be a singer and anyone can also go up on stage and start singing even though he or she does not have enough package to be one. Fashion people, fashion…Now, let us be fair, not everyone is born pretty and handsome. Not everyone is born to sing, too. But, some are born with the complete package, pretty or handsome, fashionable and can sing. This is what we’re looking for. I know some may say, this isn’t a beauty contest but then again most of them who take part in this Gangstarz do not have at least two of the above requirements. And, the worst thing is, they probably know that they are ugly and they still dress up like clowns. They dance like clowns and they sing like clowns. I guess Gangstarz should call themselves GangClownz. They do not deserve to be called stars. The real stars are the one who are truly magnificent and simply the best. I personally do not think anyone of them fits the profile. None.

Sometimes, I think the so called professional jury for this show isn’t professional at all. They are just there to show that they know what they are doing which I think they don’t. Their comments are lame and stupid. Some of them do not deserve to award any stars to any of the clowns. And, the other little clowns who know nothing about music, and probably are just lame people watching and cheering in the studio as if they know what these so called professional jury say. I hope this show is only aired in this country. Well, I guess not. What a shameful thing to show to the world. They want to do it internationally and yet the ‘sucky’ jury can’t even construct a complete sentence in English. Oh dear… what is this?

Well, despite all of the negative things about GangClownz, oppsss… I meant Gangstarz… they have succeeded in turning the studio into a ‘Legitimate Disco’ for the spectators. Wow, a couple of times I happened to witness some “Jellyfish” floating in the air during the performances. Thumbs up! They really can dance. I don’t mean the singer wannabes on the stage but the Malay ladies with their scarves or their head gear, dancing like nobody’s business. I know I have seen some Malay ladies dancing in some discos in town but at least they are not hypocrite and pretentious. Now these colorful floating “Jellyfish” made me laugh. Oh dear… I guess this is the only place where they can let go off their ‘steam’. Pathetic… I never know that the ones with the scarves on their head are quite a party animal group, huh.

Lame…lame…lame…

Monkey Love...

Hi fellas,

It is funny to think about my past. I know that my past isn’t that great but full of adventures and lots of trials and errors. I learnt. I understood how things worked. But there is one thing which took me years to understand…LOVE. Love is such a difficult thing to understand and I realized how hard it is to fall in love and it is even harder when you fail in love.

As I could recall, I guess my first monkey love was when I was 15 years old. I totally had no idea that little feeling which I had was actually what people call it LOVE. It is such a strange thing for me and until now I can feel it but at least now I know what it means. There was this one girl who came to my school. She had long silky hair and pretty much a girl boys would love to be with. At that time, I had a friend. He somehow liked the girl too. I know what you all are thinking... Well, it was definitely a “Bermuda Triangle Love Story”. A friend of mine came to me and told me how he felt about the girl. Pretending to be an idiot, I nodded and agreed with whatever he had to say, though deep down in me I had almost similar or maybe deeper feeling for the girl.

Anyway, after a couple of months, my class teacher asked for some volunteers to do some presentations for the coming Teachers’ Day. My friend came to me and told me his idea for the Teachers’ Day which somehow had some elements of wooing the girl. All I could do was to agree and smiled back at him. So, he went up to the teacher and volunteered himself. The girl who sat two rows in front of me turned and smiled at me. I bet that was the sweetest smile I had ever seen in my life. All of a sudden, my heart started beating so hard and I could practically felt cold sweat dripping down from my forehead. I felt uncomfortable and my mind was clouded and I thought I was going to die that very moment. Then, a few seconds later, suddenly one brilliant idea went across my mind. I said quietly to myself, I wanted to volunteer and present something on that day. I stood up and I walked up to my teacher and smiled at her. She asked me what would I do on that day, and I automatically answered that I wanted to sing. Oh dear Lord! What the heck am I doing? My teacher smiled and nodded. And I turned around and walked back to my seat with all bloody curses…Silly!! Silly!! Silly!!

About two days later, during break time, the girl came to me and she asked me what song I would sing for the Teachers’ Day. I smiled and I said “Right Here Waiting”. What?! I said in my heart. She smiled. Her beautiful eyes glittered and they made me so nervous. She wished me good luck. Oh dear, at that moment, I just realized that Teachers’ Day was only two days away. I had a lot of preparations to do. In fact, I had no idea why in the hell I would volunteer myself for such thing. I was very silly. I looked at my friend who was very busy preparing for the day. He planned to recite a poem. I waved at him and he smiled back at me. I felt really guilty somehow and I knew I was not challenging him…was I?

I practiced singing the song. I strummed my guitar and I sang. My mom was a bit lost when she realized I was different than usual. She came up to me and asked me, why there’s sudden change in me. At first, I felt uncomfortable to talk to her but finally I let it out. I told her about this girl. My mom smiled at me and she advised me to go easy on it. She said, love is something pure and it is not meant to be forced. Love is unexpected and wonderful if one can treasure it with all his or her heart. Love is something simple and should not be complicated. Life is complicated but not loves. Wow…it was like and inspiration to me. My mom smiled and left. I guess she felt better at that moment knowing his only child was normal, just facing a little ‘glitch’ in life. So, I practiced my singing and guitar playing for the day.

The day had come. I brought my guitar to school. Some friends were impressed and did not expect me to play the guitar. Yes, I never told anyone about it. I kept it as a secret. And, that day everything came to light. My friend delivered his poem really well. And, it was my turn to present. I pulled out a chair and I sat with my guitar on my lap. A little nervous and cold sweat was dripping slowly. I strummed the guitar and I played the tune. I started singing. I looked at everyone’s face and I smiled. Miraculously, everyone seemed to enjoy my performance. I did not dare to look at the girl directly. Without my acknowledgment my song had come to an end. I ended it well. Then, round of big applause, bursting with all the cheering from the boys. My teacher smiled and shook my hand. My classmates requested another song but I had to refuse with the reason not enough time. Luckily it worked. The truth was I only practiced one song…

While I was busy packing my guitar, the girl came and she told me that she liked my performance. I thanked her and she offered me a glass of coke. I accepted it and thanked her again. From that day onwards, we became good friends and I did not dare to say anything to her which I thought would ruin our friendship if I decided to tell her the truth. However, the truth is something in which a person probably can never hide forever. She came to know about my true feeling for her when my friend told her that I liked her more than just a friend. I did tell my friend that I somehow liked her after the presentation and my friend and I were not in a very good term ever since. I apologized to him for keeping that little secret and I never expected that he would tell her about it. Upon knowing the truth she came to me and asked me to go out for a drink. I was clueless. I felt kind of a bit strange but I went out. She was pretty cool and she asked me a few questions (I felt as if I was being interrogated) and I had to be honest to her. I told her that I wanted to become her special one. So, there it went. I told her everything and strangely, she looked at me for a few seconds and she said ‘YES’. YES…?

Love is unexpected and pure…

Crash and Burn...

Hi fellas,

Some may think I have run AWOL. And some may think I have diminished from the face of the earth. The truth is I am still here. I knew my last post was last month and it is almost two weeks ago since. The truth is I was kind of busy with my work. I realize how happy I am now compared to the past few months. My life was not in place and everything seemed to be upside down. But, ever since I have moved on and now I get my freedom to make as much cash I can. I am going to work even harder than before. Oppsss… does that mean I am going to ignore my blog again…? Probably… yes.. or probably nope.

A few nights ago, I was lucky to come across a debate between the opposition and the government. I thought it was something hot and sizzling as I have expected but it turned out to be rather frustrating. Both parties were just playing with the issue of recent fuel price and the other party happened to include some personal attacks in his speech. Well, I guess both were just plain idiots, standing and trying to put the nicest scent as they could possibly do even though it stunk like hell. On the government side, the debater was nothing but a plain childish and sounded rather silly by regurgitating some personal attacks to the opposition. Come on, why didn’t he take out his sword and slash the guy? End of the story. Stop wasting people’s time. And, the opposition sounded so funny knowing the fact that, how can I support someone who doesn’t seem to know where he is standing at the moment. By doing so, I guess more people would rather hang themselves than being in a country leads by a person who once claimed to be a molester and was a part of the government himself. And, the worst of all is, due to this person, the whole KL is congested. Many roads are closed and road blocks are everywhere. Gosh!

Come on guys. What is this? Is this the kind of Malaysia we all are expecting for after the 50th independence? I am not quite sure of it. From where I am standing now, I guess foreign investors should try not to invest anything here at the moment. And those Malaysians, who can afford to leave this country, please do so. I don’t think both parties are really eligible to govern this little country. What a shameful thing. Never thought Malaysia would become like this. Well, whatever that is, may the culprits who have started all these chaotic situations be damned in HELL. If ever HELL has its own way to burn and torture the damned please let the POLITICIANS be the first and the worst.

Burn…burn…burn…

Early Education... (Pt. 2)

Hi fellas

My daily routine was pretty simple. I woke up in the morning. I went to school like every other kid. I studied. I went back home and I slept for two or three hours. Then, my father came back from work and we ate dinner together. At 6 p.m. I helped my parents with our little sate business. I completed my homework while waiting for customers to come and buy our sate. I started to learn about life when I looked at both of my parents. I knew it was not easy for both of them to make ends meet. I realized that both of them have tried and they would never give up, not on me nor to the hardship the life had offered them both.

My parents are very hardworking people. They are not the sort who would love to sit and doing nothing. My daddy for instance, he is a man full with energy and in fact he is so good with his hands. His carpentry skills are simply outstanding. Sometimes I wonder, what would my daddy be if he were to be given the opportunity to study and complete his education? He seems to be very good at many other things too like repairing broken things, his ‘mechanical engineering’ mind works brilliantly and his carving skills are just as good as some artists out there. Not too mention, his self-defend skills too. I learned a lot of things from looking at how he did things around the house and sometimes he taught me one or two. He is a man with not much of words. I don’t deny a person who doesn’t say much, indeed a person who knows a lot about things. I still remember the roughness of his palms when he scratched my back and that coarse skin has kept a million memories which he himself might not even remember. But as a son, I will always remember that coarse skin with a million reasons never to forget.

I love cooking and all. For me, cooking is life. Cooking makes me feel special. Something which I am in command and it frustrates me when I fail to meet my own expectations on the final products. There is nothing strange about a man who can cook. Most people seemed to be shocked when I told them that I cook and I love it. Or maybe they did not expect a person like me to cook, after all. When I was eight or nine years old, my mom would love to ask me to help her out in the kitchen. I sometimes felt lazy and hated it at first. She would make me wash some vegetables, peel onions (I hated it the most…made me cry…), cut and chop some vegetables, clean up fish and chicken. I did not see the point of me staying and helping her in the kitchen at that time. But, years gone by, I realized I did not have to depend on her especially when it comes to cooking and preparing food for lunch or dinner. Sometimes, I felt like it was a part of my duty as a member of the family to somehow participate and contribute in doing some household chores. When I was 11 years old I was already pretty good in the kitchen. I had already learnt how to cook rice, curry, how to fry (deep fry and stir fry) vegetables, steamed fish, roasted fish and a few more to name it. I didn’t realize this at all. These skills and passions came to me just like that. My mom has always been very patient in educating me. Though sometimes she could become a little strict and all. I understood her well for my mother is the light of my family whilst my father is the source of energy.

Now, when I think about both of them and my little brother, I realized how much I miss them all.

I know they miss me and love me like they always do...

PARtyLIArgovernMENT

Hi fellas,

Lately a BIG CHUNK of Malaysians have been bombarded with lots of difficulties. Some may find it impossible to continue surviving in a country where almost everything is going to be predicted to increase, either now or later. Everyone starts to feel the pinch of the economic crisis. The repercussion is inevitable.

I don’t have to pinpoint anyone in this scenario. It is clear enough how the new government whom some of us trust has suddenly changed from a protector to a Predator. This probably sounds rather harsh but the truth is undeniable. Our so called ‘Government’ keeps on giving us all similar excuses for what had happened and what is happening right at this very minute. For those who can earn more would probably still can smile. But what about those who earn less? Despite all of the subsidies here and there, still it is hard to make ends meet for some people who simply cannot earn more and support their minimum daily expenses. A few weeks ago, when the first time Malaysians were shocked over the fuel price hike, one of the politician was interviewed and he stated that Malaysians have to ‘degrade’ or try to minimize their expenses to as low as possible. How can this happen when some Malaysians are already living in a very, very minimum expenses daily? Hello… it was easy for him to say as such when 50% or maybe more of his daily expenses are supported by the government. Their traveling expenses , their accommodations, their daily meals and others are most of the time supported and paid by the government. The question is where does this money come from? I’m pretty sure in the midst of all this economic crisis, there are other people out there making tons of money out of other people’s miseries. And, one of them is some Politicians.

Don’t blame me for trusting our government. Take for instant, how many foreign workers do we have here in this country? Many? A lot? Or try... TOO MANY? Don’t bother counting those foreign workers who work for construction companies nor the one who work as cleaners and maids. Try those who work for big corporations and multi-million dollar companies. Not even one quarter of our fellow Malaysians are holding high positions in these companies. Now the point is those skilled foreign workers seem to enjoy themselves here in this country whilst our own local graduates are left behind and neglected. Don’t you dare to say that our local graduates are simply not at the same par or not up to the standard required to complete or to involve in any super or mega tasks and projects in this country. If that is the case, then why did the government allow these ‘graduates’ to ever graduate from local government varsities at all? If ever government feels that our local people are not good enough then don’t offer places to students who they feel are useless and not worth of spending money on their education. It is plain simple. These days, to get all A’s is no longer a wonder. This could be a very good news and this could also be a very bad news. Good news is when you know that to get all A’s are not easy because the standard of education is high. However, to get all A’s when the standard of education is gradually dropping is just a shameful thing. I remember during my school years, any students who managed to score all A’s in general examinations were proven to be the best and the cream of the crop. Nowadays, it’s totally a different episode at all. The examinations are just as simple as ABC and perhaps simpler than that. Why is this happening? What is the result of this action? What is our government trying to do here? To show that they care by lowering the standard of education so that more students can fill up our local varsities regardless of their real capability and standard. Why is our government sabotaging our own people and the future of this country as a whole. Oh… let me guess. Simply because those who are sitting comfortably up there will have more time to earn and collect as much profit and money simply because the youngsters are not capable of fighting for their rights. Or, is this the strategy our government has planned on treating us all so that we will somehow cannot be smarter than them and thus we might go quietly into the night.

It’s pretty common or has become way too common now that Malaysians’ mentality has changed… (Did it ever change?) As long as you are tall, born with blue eyes, blonde hair, fair skin, speak gibberish English (some Malaysians find it impossible to understand), there you go. You have the highest tendency to secure the highest position in a company. Whereas a little Ah Beng who has shown his loyalty for years, stood by you regardless of situations, knew you more than the blondie, is treated like yesterday’s leftover. For all we know this Ah Beng is probably way qualified than the next blondie. Help me out. I am a little confused here. Don’t get me wrong fella readers, I don’t mean to mock or to make foreign workers in this country to feel unwelcome. It is just the idea of ‘Government Helping Its Own People’ does not seem to exist at all. Where is the justice in all these? I sincerely thought that with the number of jobless graduates in this country, practically increasing every year, is not a joke any more. It is such a waste of talents and human resources. There are a lot of implications due to this. Does anybody know how much to hire a ’Mat Salleh’ to work in this country? Forget about the salary, consider their work permits, accommodations, transportations and other benefits. Their annual incomes plus all of the benefits worth if not three maybe five local graduates annual incomes. Consider Giant Supermarket and Cold Storage… ring any bells?

Being a Malaysian I have come across such sinister remarks portrayed by our own people. Our government pretends not to see such ill-treatment. The slogan of ‘Malaysia Boleh’ is just a piece of rotten propaganda. So what if ‘Malaysia Boleh is for real? It fails miserably in the first place. Why is that so? Malaysians are ignored by their own hope…the government, of course.
At first glance, you know that I am a bitter person. I can’t accept the idea of being betrayed and backstabbed by my own government. I’d rather get a kick on my ass by a foreigner (not that I allow them to do so) than by my very own government who sit comfortably in their luxurious armchairs, enjoying every bite of food which comes from the people’s blood and sweat, spending our money for unnecessary things and in the end, our people die.

I can’t accept how some politicians are just plain idiots. Pardon me. To get a title of ’DATUK’ is no longer something to be proud of. So what, you sailed around the world using ’unsinkable’ sail boat which can never sink, so what if you fly into the space and spent a few days out there digging nose, so what if you climb mount Everest 150 times and get your butts frosted, so what? Often time, when I watch news on tv, most of the so called politicians are stuttered idiots. Why…? Too much caffeine in their blood or too many lies to hide. When this bunch of stuttered-idiotic politicians running a country, people are going to suffer, big time. With all the money-minded politicians filling up all the seats in Parliament (PARtyLIARgovernMENT), you can expect projects like Growing Paddy on the Rooftop (as if we‘re running out of land), Smart Tunnel (which is not smart at all, still flooded), Islam Hadhari (which not many people know what that is) and many other white elephant projects to name a few. Think people…

I am not a politician. But I know when a person came out with such silly projects like Growing Paddy on the Rooftop, perhaps in the future Raring Fish in Our Bathtub and spent tons of people's money in the end it is just a waste, the mentality is definitely lower than a caveman. I.Q wise? You don’t want to go there…take my advice…

Where are we standing now…?

Early Education...

Hi fellas,

During my school years I used to be very naughty and all. Honestly, I didn’t like to study. My mom used to scold me for failing to complete my homework. There were times when I was so angry at her back for forcing me to study. Every morning I used to drag my heavy feet and with half awoke eyes to school. I couldn’t see the purpose of doing all of these. I knew both of my parents were very strict when it comes to education. They realized how important education was to me. They simply didn’t want me to end up like any one of them. My mom only managed to complete her Standard 3 and my dad was born during the Japanese occupation in Malaya. So… no school. I don’t blame them. They were born in a different ‘time zone’ and ‘era’. And, I was not.

I can still remember how naughty I was when I was in my Primary school. I loved teasing girls and made them cry. I would hide their pencils. I tied their school bags’ straps to chairs so that they couldn’t leave the class as fast as the boys. Sometimes, I took out staples and twisted them and pour a few on some girls’ chairs so when they sat on them they would jump up like sitting on a durian… I would laugh till my tears came out. There were a few occasions when my tears came out pouring not because of excitement but due to something we call ‘Corporal Punishment’. Ever heard of it? But even so, I would do it again. So much fun at the expense of others… When it was lunch break, my friends and I used to run to the back of the school. There were a few fruit trees owned by an old Chinese man. We would sneak out from a hole we made on a school fence. We climbed and tried to ‘get’ the fruit as much as we could. The best thing was when the owner of the orchard came we all ran away like as if we were blown by a big typhoon. To the old man (R.I.P) and some of my school mates (girls) I would personally like to apologize, wherever they may be.

I was just an average student. I did not dream big. All I could think of at that time was to complete my studies as fast as possible and I wanted to earn money. I am sure most of us have similar thinking. Until I was thirteen I started to realize that a person has to have a dream in life. Some of my friends were planning on going to colleges and universities. Me? No Idea! Had no plan at all. Nada! Zip! But deep down in me I wanted to get pretty decent results, if I could. I changed my learning styles. I started making a little effort of visiting library now and then. Though the main purpose was checking out some…you know what I mean. What..? I was just a thirteen year-old boy…But, trust me I was not an aggressive type, though I was a bit naughty and all. My parents started to realize the changes in me. They supported me and my mom wanted me to go for tuition. I kindly refused for I did not have much time to complete my school work if I were to attend one.

To be continued…

The Road...

...Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(Robert Frost; 1915)

Catastrophe...

Hi fellas,

This issue which I am about to bring forward might turn-u-on… I said might. Well, I know people are very sensitive when it comes to religion and stuffs. My way of thinking is different than some people. I have nothing against anyone or any particular religions in this world. For all I care, people have rights to choose who and what they want to be.

Reality check! Honestly, religion is a common reason which divides people. People just by its nature are all the same and probably equal, somehow. People can learn each other’s languages. People can share their food together with their counterparts without any prejudices. People can tolerate each other and that makes people can live under the very same roof. Now, fella readers might think where this writer is leading me to. Hang on to your underwear people! What makes people hate each other...? Love…? Money…? Power…? I am sure you have got your very own list too. For me, in a larger scale, RELIGION is the one which causes people to HATE each other. Not TRUE? YES. Believe me… It’s TRUE.

Let us consider some of the examples. Unresolved political issues in the WEST BANK are one of the many examples to support my belief. How many years have this been going on? Pick a number…10 years…? 20 years…? 30 years…? Believe it or not… it has been there since 1917…91 damn long years! WOW! That is a fact, friends. What causes this? Nothing has got to do with power, love and money. It is about RELIGION. People don’t like each other because of RELIGION. Millions of lives have perished from the face of the earth just because of one thing, disagreement between RELIGIONS. Innocent lives are wasted. Just like yesterday’s rubbish, useless and no one cares. While the rest of the world are having fun, denying and doubting they themselves pretending not to see the ugly part of an ideology called RELIGION.

Pardon me for being blunt. The reality is always true and nothing beats that. Dream is just an imagination which we all try to make just to run away from the truth. September 11 was a bitter moment for all humanity. Over 3 thousand lives were taken on that bloody morning. How these victims wished not to wake up that morning and went to work like ordinary day which would probably result their lives to be spared. Again, the cruelty and the hatred are shown and proven to us all with the blood of the innocents just because of one word none other than the word ‘RELIGION’. This is where RELIGION once again has proven to be the cause of hatred which divides people from each other. In fact, life has become something meaningless. Day in day out, the so called religious people call out and preach, telling everyone how wonderful religion is but what, that is far from the truth.

I know this piece would bring hatred from some fella readers out there. What I am saying here is why all of us have to be doped with all the lies and deceptions about the beauty of RELIGION. Where as this is the cataclysmic source of the destructions in the world. Some may argue with me. Some may say destructions are caused by humans. Well, I couldn’t agree more, but humans with RELIGIONS. The world can never be free not until people start accepting freedom as it is. With RELIGIONS, people are not free, people are tied and people are nothing but the SLAVES to their RELIGIONS. People hate other people and being prejudice without any good reason but because of RELIGIONS. Why? Why do people have to take all of these? Because other people say RELIGIONS bring peace and harmony, promise heaven to the good ones and hell to the bad ones, or what?

Well pardon me once more; as far as I am concerned, the world is good enough, peace and harmony do not derive from RELIGIONS. Peace and harmony are just the states of mind not what we see and taste. For all we know, RELIGIONS are just RULES. RULES which stop people from pursuing their intentions and needs. RULES which stop people from discovering their true self. RULES which make weak and ugly people look strong and beautiful. RULES which stop people from so many other things which people may not know simply because everyone has to obey those RULES, blindly. Think for a while and look deep inside our heart. Consider this…

Condoms

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.

The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

What is the message here…? People are just using RELIGIONS to cover their weaknesses. How important is that?

Why oh why…

Sense and Sensibility...

Hi fellas,

People say life is a journey. And, I guess it is all about moving on and living to the fullest. The basic idea of living is making the journey worthwhile. I regard my life as something pretty meaningful. Though I was not born with silver spoon, I made certain adjustments in my life, something which make sense and logical. I was placed on the right path and the path which I took has made the difference.

The idea of living far away from families and parents was not a common deal back then. I left my family since I was 18.It was a tribulation especially when you had no idea what the real world was all about. At first, I could stand the hardship of missing my parents and hometown but after sometime I felt the ‘hunger’ in me. I started missing them and it got worst when I had to leave my country in pursuing my studies. Nothing seemed to be easy. Every step that I took seemed to be heavy and it got heavier from day to day. But, there were two things which kept me going… LOVE and LIFE.

The element of LOVE brought me sanity. I stayed focus on my studies and I tried to tame and fill my ‘hunger’ with lots of lovely mind’s eye about my forth coming life. My wish was plain and simple. I wanted to be with my loved ones and shared my love with them all once I completed my studies. And, I believe that in LIFE everyone has got to sacrifice. LIFE isn’t what it is if there’s no challenge in it. I regarded my long journey as something which money can’t buy.

Five and half years abroad had taught me nothing but to be an independent person. Don’t get me wrong, people can be independent wherever they may be. And, it is not necessarily living abroad will make people learn. I have seen good people, bad people and people who don’t care about their lives or others. I learnt how they think and how they perceive the world in many different perspectives. Some may be beneficial and some are just nothing but rubbish. For a small town boy like me, it was such a meaningful journey. I never expected anything like this to happen in my life when I was back in school. I thought I would end up growing and living in my little hometown like most of my friends and relatives are. I am not proud of what I have because there is simply nothing to be proud of.

At least when I grow old, I have got something to share. Something wonderful to tell my children and hopefully they will learn one or two from my little journey.

Love and Life really are Sensible…

Childhood...

Hi fellas,

After several days of hot and dry days, this morning it rained. Oh boy, I am so glad it rained. At least the world isn’t that hot. This reminds me of my little hometown. The weather in my hometown can be very hot during the day. Since it is located along the coastal line, the heat is even greater especially in May, June and July. When I was young I used to spend my time swimming in the river, in front of my house at least 2 to 4 hours a day. Back then, to have an air-conditioned house was something luxurious. Not many could afford to get one. My mom used to ask me to stay inside the house but I simply couldn’t refuse playing with my friends outside. Kids, huh…

I still can recall there was a long school holiday which lasted about a month and a half. This was the best time for us all to meet up and play the whole day. My parents would send me back to my little hometown with the purpose of teaching me to be independent. Indeed, I learned to become an independent person though I didn’t realize it back then. I thought my parents would just want to shirk their responsibilities of taking care of me. Silly boy I was. I stayed at my aunt’s place. She took care of me and the best thing is she loves me so much just like her own son. She never gets angry at me, not even once. She ran a small grocery business in the village. I helped her out. I learned how to do business. She told me about things and I learned tons of good things from her.

As a 10-year-old boy, I was pretty naïve by nature. I was curious about everything. One day, one of my friends asked me to buy a pack of cigarette. I secretively bought one and my friend and I rode to the beach nearby. That was my first cigarette in my life. I smoked as if I have been smoking for years. Deep in my heart I knew I couldn’t lie to myself. Who am I kidding, right? I felt bad for what I did. The secret remains especially to my parents and my aunt. But not to you guys.

Back in my village, I learned how to catch fish and prawns. I spent my whole morning and afternoon fishing. My friends and I would sit at a wharf in front of my house with a few fishing rods each made from small bamboo sticks. We waited patiently and we chatted softly. We abused our skin under the hot and bright sunny day. We didn’t care. Our mission was pretty clear and simple, to catch fish. We caught a few sometimes we caught more than ten fish. This was our motivation. Fed up of fishing, I learned how to use fishing net. My friend owned a small sampan (boat) and a seasoned fishing net. We used that as our tools to start a small business. We were very patient. We both woke up at 6.30 in the morning. We went to a small hut to fry some rice to be mixed with some soil as our baits. Then we ate breakfast. After breakfast we paddled and we threw our baits all over the river. We let our bait sank and then we made another trip to go back to the first place we started baiting. I threw the fishing net into the river with the hope of getting some fish or even prawn too. To our surprise, we caught about a few kilos of fish and prawns. WOW! It worked.
We paddled back and with excitement we divided our catch into half. The next morning we tried again and we caught a lot more than the day before. So, we both decided to sell some at the market. We did it and we shared the profit. But, nothing stays the same all the time. There was time when we caught almost nothing and we felt sad. Time flew and we had to stop fishing because it was time for us to go back to school again. This simply is one of the neatest memories in my life.

Childhood years are the best time ever…

Diversion and Confusion...

Hi fellas,

A lot of sensational issues have taken their shares in most of newspapers' front pages recently. From the issue of fuel price (ridiculously expensive), inflation (god knows why) , religions (confusing) and of course, politics (poking each other). I feel that these issues are just plain games. What games? Mind games. Or shall I say, DIVERSION And CONFUSION (A new version of Divide and Conquer).

Malaysians are not a bunch of silly people. Though we may be too polite sometimes… or perhaps too soft. Are we? Well, I sincerely think that is a compliment to all fellow Malaysians. Now, what is it that I call DIVERSION And CONFUSION.

First of all, with all the issues about fuel price, inflation, religion and politics what used to be hot isn’t hot anymore… Ring the bell? Not yet? Well, try this…CSI. Nope…? Try Mongolia…Ok. Now, I can see some are nodding and some are just yawning (pretending not to know). This issue could be an old or ancient issue once faced by this country. The news was all over. Nothing beats that, even if Metallica were to come to Malaysia and sang their song entitled ‘SO F@#!KING WHAT?’ our government wouldn’t even care. Now that is the measurement of how HOT and SIZZLING the story was, once. But like I said… it was an “ancient news dated back thousand years ago“. Not that I am too concern about it though, what about JUSTICE? Where is the ending of this story? CSI solves cases in 1 hour on our NTV7. And our authority is taking (Present Continuous) and gathering information on the case? Is that right? That doesn’t sound right to me, does it to you? Scandals over scandals, people murdered, people accused. Where do all of these lead us to? DBKL's drain? I guess they need a lot bigger drain to keep all the lies and deceptions from public knowledge. Oh, haven’t they learned at all? What stinks will always stink. No matter how deep they bury it, sooner or later the smell will find its way out to the open. Why not those who involved in the murder of this Mongolian lady just come forward and raise their hands and say:
Murderers: “KAMI BOLEH!”. (We CAN!)
Chief Justice: “BOLEH APA?” (What do you mean you CAN?)
Murderers: “BOLEH PIGI DAH!”. (We CAN go!)
Chief Justice: “PIGI MANA?” (Where CAN you go?)
Murderers: “PIGI MATI LAH”. (We CAN go and DIE.)

Second of all, there’s something about political issue. Let me be honest to all, why are we spending so much money and country’s profit into something which I sincerely think rather ridiculous. Yes. Having the thought of a Malaysian FLYING in a rocket is great but the picture of having other fellow Malaysians PAYING skyrocketing prices for fuel and other grocery items is not something what I had in mind. Not even a bit of it.
This may or may not be a relative cause or reason which link us all to the scenario at the moment. But, spending a large sum of money just to be at the same par with the rest of the world is simply not our game at this stage of development. There are other serious issues which need to be addressed urgently. Now, one fellow Malaysian flew in the space our gas tanks or perhaps our biological tanks (stomachs) are full with spaces… It is undeniably true that we are capable of sending one or maybe two people up there. I am glad too. Perhaps next time would be a better time to do such. Not now. With that amount of expenditure spent, thousands or perhaps millions of Malaysians would smile today rather than smirk.

It’s about time things like what happened lately to occur. This is simply a punishment. Worst yet to come if nothing is done. To some extent, we Malaysians feel confused. Confused not because we are lack of education (man, we did sent someone to the space, didn’t we?), but because of how in the hell a country with so many natural resources like ours is facing such a traumatic economic crisis. Where have all the sources and the profits have gone to? Come on… we all are breaking our backs here. Where is our share? God knows. These mind games are simply not for us to play. People understand and people know. All we want is truth and be honest to us all. Without us all, this country is nothing but a piece of land with trees and monkeys.

Don’t DIVERT our views and don’t CONFUSE us for what we know…

Dilemma...

Hi fellas,

It’s been a while since my last post. I guess fellow readers might think that this guy is just a joke. Nope. Well, I guess blogging is just something for fun. I would rather prefer to write when I have something to write about. Besides, my little angel did say that “Blogging is not an Obligation“. Speaking of which, I personally think that there is truth in that phrase.

Well, lately I had a little argument with my inner self. I am up until now still confuse. I wouldn’t mind letting my fellow readers to know what I deeply feel inside. Everyone has problem/s. I have my share too. I am at the junction of continuing working as a full-timer or should I dive into a part-timer. On one hand I have some responsibilities to be taken cared of. On the other, I guess I could earn double or perhaps triple of what I am getting now if I were to become a part-timer. However, the real deal here is by turning myself into a part-timer I would not know as in how much and for how long will I be able to earn the double or triple amount of what I have planned to get. I am seriously in dilemma now.

I know for some this may not be the biggest problem, after all. But, it is a pretty huge burden for me if I can’t make what I have planned. Now, sometimes I blame the existence of the word ‘IF’. Seriously fellas, this word shouldn’t be in our dictionary. So people keep on telling me that. I have been thinking about it for a while now. I know it isn’t easy to get a fulltime job these days. I would love to maintain it but that would limit myself and I notice that there’s so much time in between that I have wasted just by earning little money. I would love to utilize that time and turn it into $$$$$$$$. I am tied up with the job that I have now. I can’t be leaving my office as and when I like, even though I am not entirely needed at that particular time slot.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. No doubt, I do sound like a money minded person here but the reality is forcing me to think and act this way. In fact, I think I deserve some credit somehow. Why? That is because I hate to waste my time earning so little. I know my time is worth something more than that. I know it… Am I too afraid to leave my so called ‘comfort zone’ here? Is that the real issue? Probably yes… Probably I want to play safe. Ever thought of that? From a different angle, I can understand that this is just a temporary phase. But, in a long run, this will somehow affect me and my future badly. I can’t be forever earning this much and yet prices of things around are going to be skyrocketing even higher than what we can predict.

Fellow readers, life isn’t always about money and wealth. And, mind you that I am not chasing after money here. My real intention is to turn my precious time and to channel my energy into something worth while. There is no point for sitting and doing almost nothing and yet the time spent is paid good for nothing. With all the changes have taken place around… there is no reason for a person who is capable of doing something not to do extra but a plain laziness.

Still thinking…

Haunting...

Hi fellas,

Lately, fellow Malaysians are haunted by the increasing number of crimes and bus accidents in this country. Though these aren’t something new to some people out there but I certainly feel that Malaysia is still too young to have reached to such status. I know people are developing and the country too, but that doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice it with blood of some innocent people.

As I could recall, ten to fifteen years ago, I rarely could hear about rapes and murders. However, these have become our everyday news nowadays. Some innocent adults and children have become the victims of such disgusting and cruel acts. Some were murdered in a very despicable way. Such loathsome acts certainly deserve serious punishments. Some rape and murder cases were done by their very own flesh and blood. This isn’t us at all. Where do Malaysians get these dreadful ideas from? When did Malaysians start turning into wicked monsters? And, these monsters never seem to cease. In fact, they grow and more people are living in fear in this once used to be a very safe place for Malaysians. Some people seem to have lost their sense of humanity. What happen to our people? Could it be some of us were misguided somewhere along the path of reaching modernization? Or, people are slowly transforming into ‘something’ else because of greed and selfishness?

The death of some innocent people in some tragedies is something beyond our help. Everyone knows this. In fact, some people say, ‘Accident Happens’. Well, there’s a clear boundary between ‘Accident’ and ‘Carelessness’. I believe what is happening right now on the issue of public buses isn’t valid to be classified as ‘Accident’ anymore. Yesterday, two more lives were taken, but this time round the lives of the driver and the co-driver. A few weeks ago, two people were killed and injuring eleven other people. The worst part is some of these people weren’t locals. This is probably the last thing that came to your mind, traveling and got killed in an ‘accident’. The most tragic of all happened last year, August 13th, twenty lives had perished due the so called ‘Accident’. Not only that, there were other bus ‘accidents’ involving people’s lives too before this. Now, my belief is these aren’t just ordinary accidents…these are what we call ‘Carelessness’. I used to commute by buses too before and I sometimes noticed drivers especially those who drove express buses looked either Tired or Reckless. Either way, both can’t be that good. The question is, ‘Can you trust them with your life?’

Something to ponder upon…

Splashed...

Hi fellas,

While sipping a cup of tea, my mind was busy thinking. I stood up and walked to the window in my bedroom. I could see some trees and green grass… All of sudden, a glimpse of the past flashed through my eyes. The trees and the grass brought me back to the time when I was ten. I could still recall some of the familiar faces around me. The smell of burning wood from kitchens in my small village seemed to be apart of our little life. The sounds of birds chirping, flying and sitting precariously from branches to branches were nothing but merely a common sight. Once in a while soft breeze gave a light touch on my cheeks.

I used to run to a wharf, in front of my old wooden house with my friends. Then, when we reached at the end of it, we jumped into the river. The sounds of water splashing all over the place added some excitement to us all. We swam and we dove. Sometimes we pulled each others’ legs pretended as if a monster was pulling us down to the bottom of the river. Then, we stopped and floated. We chatted with each other. After recuperating for a short while, we challenged each other. We swam across the wide river and came back to the wharf again. One thing I notice, we didn’t care about our safety. We didn’t have so much fear in our mind. For us all, excitement and the adrenalin of challenging each other were far more important than the fear of being eaten by a crocodile or drowned.

Then, from far away, I could hear my mother’s voice calling us all back for lunch. There were times when I refused to go back and I got scolded by my parents. I hated it. I didn’t know how much my parents loved and cared for me. All I had in mind was to have fun with my friends…nothing more and nothing less. It was plain innocent. Life is so much simpler back then. I know this now. Sometimes I wish to go back to that time again to catch all of the excitement... once more.

Thrill isn’t just something…

Hatred

Hi fellas,

‘A feeling of intense hostility towards somebody or something’. Certainly isn’t my cup of tea. However, I am not kissing anyone’s @*s. So, be it! Something is really wrong here. Something really strange is happening to our people. Almost everyone seems to ignore and nurture this so called “carefree” kind of mentality lately. What…? Are you guys being doped with all the fantasies and melodramas marshaled by the so called “The Playwrights”? Oh… get real people. Wake up…! This isn’t time for you all to be unobtrusive and make believe there’s nothing bugging you all. The reality isn’t as astonishing and promising as they look like.

I thought we all are in the same agreement, living under the same roof, sharing a glass of water and a plate of rice…? Are we not? What is wrong with us all…? Where is the fighting spirit in us? Long faded? Oh dear, if only you know how much we’ve missed… and lost…

Oh…now I know…we are all not used to it. Our flames have long vanished. There’s nothing left but to smile and nod even if it is otherwise. Hatred is taboo. It is simply not in our culture…nothing like that at all. There goes the essence of life in our people…empty and bare.

Sad but true…

Simple...?

Hi fellas,

When I woke up this morning, I just realized how much I miss my little hometown. The food, the people, the air and the lifestyle are totally different. I just couldn't figure out why I feel that way these few days. Maybe because of too tired thinking about life that I have at the moment. I don't mean it is bad but I guess it isn't really fulfilling for a man of my age. I feel like there are lots more good things out there for me. Now, don't get me wrong...(my little bb). I meant career wise and opportunities to go further in life.

I feel lost sometimes and I know I am not the only one. Thousands of people out there are probably in the same situation too. I have left my parents and my little hometown for about 15 years now. I was, in fact I am still searching for the best. I believe there are many successful people out there who dare themselves to leave their comfort zone. And, I long to be one of them. No doubt, I have a pretty decent job with a pretty decent salary but I still feel there's more for me. People say that is just a human nature... Deep down in me keeps on telling that there's no stopping in life until one calls it off. Is it true?

Well, when I look back from where I started my journey in life, I realize there are so many changes that have taken place in my simple life. I know I am different from the rest of my best buddies in my little hometown. Most of them have their own families. They fit into the society well. I could see their smile of satisfaction. Is it real or otherwise? All I know is I chose to be different. I chose to be far apart from them all. I chose not to grow and live among them. My choices have changed my true self. A few times when I went back to my hometown, I tried to fit myself into that little society, but it ended up with frustration. I just couldn't see where I fit the best. Questions over questions popped up into my mind...unanswered.

I guess, life isn't that simple after all.

Payback Time...

Hi fellas,

Wow...I love this country. I love it so much and I don't even know what to say. Everything seems to be great, the modernization, the people, the infrastructure, the facilities and others. Wow..bravo to all Malaysians especially to our government. It is so great to the extend that people are speechless...or shall I say dumbfounded. Oh..let's not be harsh here. Well, all that I know, it is a payback time for us all Malaysians. Not familiar with what I am talking about? Let me put it this way. After 50 years of Independence and Glorious development in the country,it is time to 'harvest'. Oh, fellas you don't think everything is free, do you? Didn't see it's coming? Well, I guess now you know how things work in this little beautiful country.

I love this country. As a Malaysian, I am proud of what we've achieved all these years. Tell me what Don't we have... The Tallest Building...? We've got the Tallest TOWERS, fellas. Luxurious Malls...? Plenty... places where we pour our blood and sweat...Universities...? Wow, we are not even listed among the top 50(in the world). What else...? Natural resources...? Oh..dear fellas, God knows where all of our natural resources have gone to. How about sending a man to the outer space...? Now, that is catchy... I don't quite understand why. Please feel free to drop your comments here and let me know why is someone sending a man to the outer space and yet we have a lot of issues in this country especially when we know we are not financially stable to do such.

I am still proud of being a Malaysian. Malaysians are very friendly and polite people. We all smile even if we know we are sad. We smile to make people smile. We smile everywhere we go even if we don't need to smile, but we still smile. Why...? We are always polite. We are very polite to people and we are polite to our enemies...We are polite because we are taught to be (I'm not against the idea of being polite). But, give me one good reason, why should we be polite if we are supressed by our own government? Why should we smile if we know that there's nothing to be smiled at? Have we all gone senile before time? Have we all gone deaf and blind? Why do we let ourselves to be bullied and degraded by our own people?

I love this nation. But, my love is nothing to it...

The Beginning

Hi fellas,

I am glad that my blog looks a lot better now than when I first started it. Thanks to my little angel...:p

Everything has its own beginning. My life started in a small town called Mukah, Sarawak. A little town where people seem to know each other more than the town where I live in now. People in Mukah are quite simple in nature. Most of them are fishermen. Some are farmers, some are businessmen and some are government officers.

People in Mukah speak 'Melanau' language. I know most people don't really know what it is. Well, let us put it this way, this language has its own prose and linguistic features of its own. Though there some words are clearly borrowed from Bahasa Melayu and English can be heard too. And, the most interesting thing is Melanau language is varied based on the location or region; Melanau regional dialects.

The food. Basically, Melanau people eat similar food like the Malays. However, we do have our own specialities like for instance, Sago, Umai, Linut/Ambuyat, Tebaloi and a few others to name it. The most unique and exotic type of food among the Melanaus is called 'Sie Et'. It is gross in nature especially for those who don't fancy eating 'grubs, worms or medium-sized maggots'. Your first response would be....YUCK!!! Now, that is for sure... Well, it is proven that this Sago Worms have its very own goodness and they contain lots of protein... You know what it means, right...good for the Brain. My mom used to cook it when I was young... Yummy.


Ambuyat


'Sie Et'

One might wonder why I wrote this post. I guess, history is a focal element in which it may determine how a person reacts and sees the world from one's perspective.

Reflection of life...

Maiden Voyage

Hi all,

As people say, there will always be the first time. So, fellas this is my first journey into blogging world. I hope this little step that I take will continue till the day I call it off.

Maiden voyage isn't always as interesting as it sounds. I have thought about this for a long time. Now, I have always wanted my writing to be read and heard by people. When I said people I meant those with souls... Pardon me for my French. That is not always be the case. Here you can expect anything to happen. I just want to be free in voicing out my thoughts. Thoughts which I have long abandoned. I guess, it's about time for me to let go the 'true me'.

Dear readers (if there's any) LOL... think of this blog as a story of my life. You can always come in and leave your comments. I don't mind...