Hi fellas,
If life were too simple and easy, no one would care for it so much. Life indeed requires a lot of sacrifices and efforts to make it more interesting and challenging. I know at this age, a man has to do what a man has to do. I consider myself a very lucky person for I know when to start and when to stop.
Five years ago, I was not an angel... I guess everything seemed to be worthless at that time. I did many things which I did not do and did not expect to do in my entire life. I started smoking. I started drinking and of course with all of these two addictions... discos and clubs were just around the corner. I spent most of my weekends having fun with some people I called "friends". To be honest, I did not even know their real names... Life was a bitch at that time. I had so much cash in hand. I did not know where to spend. I ended up drinking and having fun. For me, the word fun was limitless. I did not care about tomorrow. I thought life was just nothing but enjoying the moment and then when the time comes... that's the end of it.
I was a broken man. I had no dreams, for once in my life. I had no direction. I had only two options... to be or not to be. I forgot that there were other options which I failed or maybe refused to see. I was not sure of everything. I worked...then I enjoyed like there was no tomorrow. I thought I had failed in life when I lost a person that I loved so much at that time. I changed.
Then, one morning I decided to move away from the life that I had. I looked deep into my heart and had a little thought in me. Life is not about what a person loses but what a person can do to keep oneself sane when one is challenged with such a great loss. For one moment, I stood still and looked as far as I could. There were something in me, crying and calling for help. My soul and my sanity were sad. I realized that I could not keep on treating myself that way for it brought more hazard than good. All the perils and sadness were a part of life. I fooled no one but myself. I had to mend my broken heart and be sane.
For the last three years, ever since I moved to this new place, calmness has welcomed me with open arms. And, I made an effort to keep it that way. I slowed down my drinking but I can't stop smoking. Still not an angel, yet. Until one day, I just realized, liquors were totally out of my life. I stopped going to discos and clubs. I became an occasional drinker but only beer. I drink just for fun not till I drop like I used to. I noticed the changes in me. I became sober and that is the man who I am now.
Deep down in me, I am proud of what I could do. I never expect that I would be able to stop what I had started. It was not ugly to some people but I am glad that I am finally out of that circle now. Maybe life has got something more wonderful to be shared with me, after all.
Never regret...
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Back2U
Hi fellas,
Ok...ok... I know that I have been missing for a few months now. I know some of my readers probably have left. I know that I have abandoned my blog for quite a while now. But, good news is... I am BACK! Does anybody miss me, after all? Yes...Nope...?
Since last August, there have been quite a lot of things happening in my little life. One of them is, I have attended two wonderful wedding parties. Not my weddings, of course. I found out that I have earned a few new friends and they are wonderful people. Besides that, I went on a vacation. Again, it was such a wonderful vacation when everything was unplanned and everyone was so happened to be in one place. What else could I ask for? Perfect combinations. We had a lot of fun and unexpected 'joy' too. Other than that, work...work...work...and work... Interesting huh?
Then, without noticing it, time flies like a jet plane. Here we are, at the end of the year. It feels like I haven't done much in this year yet. Why is that so? I don't know... Two answers perhaps, One, I could have done something really really good and I did not notice the time and Two...I could probably have done nothing and yet I enjoyed it... That makes sense, right...?
Well, the answer to the questions why I abandoned my blog for a while is because I need time to think and to collect what is left in me and the world around me. Sometimes, it is good to pause for a while and then perhaps I can come back with new and fresh ideas. Who knows... I hope to share more of me to dear fella readers. And, there will be some photos in this blog, too ( if I can find one that suits).
Do drop me a comment or two. I still love to hear from my fella readers. I don't really mind the nature of your comments...the tone... the words... in fact, I would love to be criticized...if you may. I want to hear what have you got in mind and the reasons why do you think so...
Fellas, love it or hate it...
Ok...ok... I know that I have been missing for a few months now. I know some of my readers probably have left. I know that I have abandoned my blog for quite a while now. But, good news is... I am BACK! Does anybody miss me, after all? Yes...Nope...?
Since last August, there have been quite a lot of things happening in my little life. One of them is, I have attended two wonderful wedding parties. Not my weddings, of course. I found out that I have earned a few new friends and they are wonderful people. Besides that, I went on a vacation. Again, it was such a wonderful vacation when everything was unplanned and everyone was so happened to be in one place. What else could I ask for? Perfect combinations. We had a lot of fun and unexpected 'joy' too. Other than that, work...work...work...and work... Interesting huh?
Then, without noticing it, time flies like a jet plane. Here we are, at the end of the year. It feels like I haven't done much in this year yet. Why is that so? I don't know... Two answers perhaps, One, I could have done something really really good and I did not notice the time and Two...I could probably have done nothing and yet I enjoyed it... That makes sense, right...?
Well, the answer to the questions why I abandoned my blog for a while is because I need time to think and to collect what is left in me and the world around me. Sometimes, it is good to pause for a while and then perhaps I can come back with new and fresh ideas. Who knows... I hope to share more of me to dear fella readers. And, there will be some photos in this blog, too ( if I can find one that suits).
Do drop me a comment or two. I still love to hear from my fella readers. I don't really mind the nature of your comments...the tone... the words... in fact, I would love to be criticized...if you may. I want to hear what have you got in mind and the reasons why do you think so...
Fellas, love it or hate it...
Monday, August 25, 2008
Stepping Up...
In life, one has to be brave to face any forms of challenges. I know some prefer to play safe and try their best to be in a safe zone. In my case, life is not always the way it is expected. Sometimes life kills me but up until today, I am still standing straight and I am proud to be able to withstand the toughest time of life.
People would not believe that I once was pretty poor. I accept the fact that I was born in a small and poor family. Life was somewhat different those days. I simply had no expectations whatsoever in life. I thought my life would just end up in my little town where everything seems to be simple and slow. Every time I had a chance to tell my beloved students about how life can be changed if one dares to accept the fact and dares to accept challenges without having scared of what consequences would be like. Life itself is already a risk. There’s nothing one can do. Nothing…
When I look back at the time when I was a freshman in my college, a little tear would fall down without my acknowledgement. I know, people may not be able to feel how bad the situation is but to sigh… There was once I used to spend my evenings collecting 5 cents coins in front of Giant Supermarket in Section 17, Shah Alam. I would wander about like a vulture, scrutinizing every corner of the parking lot, just to collect as much as I could for my breakfast or perhaps lunch too. There’s nothing to be ashamed off. I didn’t steal. I collected them.
When I was a lot younger, both of my parents had to work hard but the money was never enough. It was not because we lavishly spent but because of the salary was too little to live by. My dad earned RM15 per day! And, my mom had to make curry puffs to be sold in our village. I understood the hardship that they both had gone through. There were times too, when we had nothing to eat but rice. My mom would make porridge and I ate it with a dash of sugar as a flavor. At weekends, my dad and I would go to a jungle to catch some quails and sometimes we fished. We caught a few and those were our food for the whole week.
Sometimes, I just feel that, life is just a phase and I believe in myself. I never expected my parents to understand simply because they too were difficult at that time. I did not want to burden their life. We survived. I made it. Though I am not a rich man now but I have enough food to eat and pretty decent clothes to wear. I always believe in myself.
When the going gets tough, the tough gets going…
People would not believe that I once was pretty poor. I accept the fact that I was born in a small and poor family. Life was somewhat different those days. I simply had no expectations whatsoever in life. I thought my life would just end up in my little town where everything seems to be simple and slow. Every time I had a chance to tell my beloved students about how life can be changed if one dares to accept the fact and dares to accept challenges without having scared of what consequences would be like. Life itself is already a risk. There’s nothing one can do. Nothing…
When I look back at the time when I was a freshman in my college, a little tear would fall down without my acknowledgement. I know, people may not be able to feel how bad the situation is but to sigh… There was once I used to spend my evenings collecting 5 cents coins in front of Giant Supermarket in Section 17, Shah Alam. I would wander about like a vulture, scrutinizing every corner of the parking lot, just to collect as much as I could for my breakfast or perhaps lunch too. There’s nothing to be ashamed off. I didn’t steal. I collected them.
When I was a lot younger, both of my parents had to work hard but the money was never enough. It was not because we lavishly spent but because of the salary was too little to live by. My dad earned RM15 per day! And, my mom had to make curry puffs to be sold in our village. I understood the hardship that they both had gone through. There were times too, when we had nothing to eat but rice. My mom would make porridge and I ate it with a dash of sugar as a flavor. At weekends, my dad and I would go to a jungle to catch some quails and sometimes we fished. We caught a few and those were our food for the whole week.
Sometimes, I just feel that, life is just a phase and I believe in myself. I never expected my parents to understand simply because they too were difficult at that time. I did not want to burden their life. We survived. I made it. Though I am not a rich man now but I have enough food to eat and pretty decent clothes to wear. I always believe in myself.
When the going gets tough, the tough gets going…
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Hypocrisy...
Hi fellas,
People say being oneself is the best. Honesty is always being the real issue in life. Most people would rather be someone who they are not. Speaking of which, this post is going to talk about hypocrisy. We may have heard of this little word day in and day out in our lives. Whether or not it makes any difference is something to ponder upon.
All my life, I have seen tons of people who I can stamp as being hypocrite. I wonder how does it feel like to be one? For all I know people keep on being one even though it is just not the way a person should live in. Probably it is just what society wants people to be like and to act without realizing the effect of it.
As blunt as I can be, being hypocrite is just a part of human nature. But, I prefer not to let it ruin my life. I have pretty good examples to support how bad hypocrisy is. Every Friday, most Muslim men are required to perform their Friday Prayer. And, I don’t see anything wrong with practicing what one believes in. I certainly have no intention of mocking or making fun of this matter especially when it comes to religious issues. But, there is one thing which bothers me the most. Most of these people, who I used to know a long time ago, performed their prayer just because the rest are doing it. Not entirely because they want to do it for themselves. Now, why is this wrong? Well, this is not only about being hypocrite but also an act of mocking and making fun of their very own religion.
That is the way I see it. Don’t blame me for saying this. If they know that their God is the Greatest and the most Knowledgeable in this world, then why in the hell these people still believe that they would get away from being dishonest and hypocrite. They all know that anything that they do is based on their honesty. They are there not because of it but because they feel shy if they don’t go. Their friends who go and pray would say so many things about those little fellas who do not go. So, in order to satisfy their friends they just pretend to be there. Oh come on… get real. I think they would rather be sitting down over a glass of ‘teh tarik’ than being in a crowded mosque. I guess this is not the only case, after all.
That was just the tip of an ice berg. I find it rather strange when some Muslim people drink alcoholic drinks but scared to death of sitting next to a non-Muslim who is eating a bowl of pork noodles. Why is that so? What, pork is prohibited and that’s why they can’t be near to it? What about liquors and beer? Aren’t they prohibited as well? Oppsss… maybe they forgot about it. This is another hypocrisy which has become synonymous to most Malays.
A few days ago, I was engaged in a conversation with a few Muslim people. It was just a simple conversation but I left them with a pretty big question mark of their heads. I know they love drinking and partying, not to mention girls. So, I asked them where they went last weekend. One of them gave me an answer which was really disturbing. He said that Ramadhan is coming up soon. So, Muslims are not allowed to consume any forms of alcoholic drink for at least 40 days before Ramadhan. I laughed when I heard it. And, this is not something new to me. I knew this. And, I said to them this has got nothing to do with Ramadhan or whatsoever. They stopped because of Ramadhan and what will happen after Ramadhan…? They continue drinking? Now, this is sick to hear because they have no respect to their God and above all to their religion. I just can’t believe that how hypocrite some people can be.
Let me be honest to all readers. You fellas may feel that I am mocking other people’s religions and stuffs. Look around you. Look harder if you have to. People can be whoever they want to be. Nobody cares and I personally feel cheated by how pious some Muslim people can be knowing the fact that they are just plain hypocrite. Wouldn’t it be nice if one just choose to be honest and stop pretending to be someone else? The world certainly is going to be a better place for all. A piece of advice to those who feel the pinch of what I have written down here. Please stop imprisoning yourself and be free to choose whatever you want rather than pretending to like what other people like and want.
Just be yourself…
People say being oneself is the best. Honesty is always being the real issue in life. Most people would rather be someone who they are not. Speaking of which, this post is going to talk about hypocrisy. We may have heard of this little word day in and day out in our lives. Whether or not it makes any difference is something to ponder upon.
All my life, I have seen tons of people who I can stamp as being hypocrite. I wonder how does it feel like to be one? For all I know people keep on being one even though it is just not the way a person should live in. Probably it is just what society wants people to be like and to act without realizing the effect of it.
As blunt as I can be, being hypocrite is just a part of human nature. But, I prefer not to let it ruin my life. I have pretty good examples to support how bad hypocrisy is. Every Friday, most Muslim men are required to perform their Friday Prayer. And, I don’t see anything wrong with practicing what one believes in. I certainly have no intention of mocking or making fun of this matter especially when it comes to religious issues. But, there is one thing which bothers me the most. Most of these people, who I used to know a long time ago, performed their prayer just because the rest are doing it. Not entirely because they want to do it for themselves. Now, why is this wrong? Well, this is not only about being hypocrite but also an act of mocking and making fun of their very own religion.
That is the way I see it. Don’t blame me for saying this. If they know that their God is the Greatest and the most Knowledgeable in this world, then why in the hell these people still believe that they would get away from being dishonest and hypocrite. They all know that anything that they do is based on their honesty. They are there not because of it but because they feel shy if they don’t go. Their friends who go and pray would say so many things about those little fellas who do not go. So, in order to satisfy their friends they just pretend to be there. Oh come on… get real. I think they would rather be sitting down over a glass of ‘teh tarik’ than being in a crowded mosque. I guess this is not the only case, after all.
That was just the tip of an ice berg. I find it rather strange when some Muslim people drink alcoholic drinks but scared to death of sitting next to a non-Muslim who is eating a bowl of pork noodles. Why is that so? What, pork is prohibited and that’s why they can’t be near to it? What about liquors and beer? Aren’t they prohibited as well? Oppsss… maybe they forgot about it. This is another hypocrisy which has become synonymous to most Malays.
A few days ago, I was engaged in a conversation with a few Muslim people. It was just a simple conversation but I left them with a pretty big question mark of their heads. I know they love drinking and partying, not to mention girls. So, I asked them where they went last weekend. One of them gave me an answer which was really disturbing. He said that Ramadhan is coming up soon. So, Muslims are not allowed to consume any forms of alcoholic drink for at least 40 days before Ramadhan. I laughed when I heard it. And, this is not something new to me. I knew this. And, I said to them this has got nothing to do with Ramadhan or whatsoever. They stopped because of Ramadhan and what will happen after Ramadhan…? They continue drinking? Now, this is sick to hear because they have no respect to their God and above all to their religion. I just can’t believe that how hypocrite some people can be.
Let me be honest to all readers. You fellas may feel that I am mocking other people’s religions and stuffs. Look around you. Look harder if you have to. People can be whoever they want to be. Nobody cares and I personally feel cheated by how pious some Muslim people can be knowing the fact that they are just plain hypocrite. Wouldn’t it be nice if one just choose to be honest and stop pretending to be someone else? The world certainly is going to be a better place for all. A piece of advice to those who feel the pinch of what I have written down here. Please stop imprisoning yourself and be free to choose whatever you want rather than pretending to like what other people like and want.
Just be yourself…
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Dare...
Hi fellas,
Recently I had a lot of things to get done and finally I have come to a very good decision. I know this coming project is going to be my first and it will be the mark of my new career in life. This wonderful offer has made me somewhat nervous and confused in the beginning. As time goes by, things are properly sorted out and the whole idea gets clearer. I guess life needs a little change somewhere, somehow.
A few years back my life was a bit difficult and all. I was practically at the bottom of the wheel simply because of some idiot who never fulfill his words and promises. Then, I was a bit lucky for when I was at the verge of falling down a little mercy came in to support me. Then, thing started to sort out on its own. I noticed how life can be very challenging when one is not properly “plugged” onto the right channel. I have come to the understanding that something has got to be done.
For one and a half years of thinking and pacing myself down, I have met a lot of wonderful people. My journey in life has somehow changed. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have got to take this chance and I would not hesitate to do it. Hesitation is the only my worst enemy. I know my limit so far. It is just that I hesitate to try and to channel my energy and my knowledge to the possibility. I guess, my new journey in life is about to begin. And, I am giving this opportunity my best.
When I think of it, there are so many challenges in life and there are also so many chances where some people just refuse to take. This is a mistake. I want to learn how people become rich and famous. I certainly want to become one of these people…either rich or famous…or maybe both. As I said, anyone can be one but hesitation stops some of us to reach our goals in life. Confidence level is high, skills can be nurtured, knowledge can be learnt, and experience can be gained. Thus, there is no way a person can’t be who a person wants it to be. The question is… DO YOU DARE? It is time to come out to the open, for me especially. I have been hiding too long. And, I am not getting any younger. The clock is ticking and every time it ticks... there goes my age and time can never be gained unless if one is able to change oneself for better…
Dare to make a change…
Recently I had a lot of things to get done and finally I have come to a very good decision. I know this coming project is going to be my first and it will be the mark of my new career in life. This wonderful offer has made me somewhat nervous and confused in the beginning. As time goes by, things are properly sorted out and the whole idea gets clearer. I guess life needs a little change somewhere, somehow.
A few years back my life was a bit difficult and all. I was practically at the bottom of the wheel simply because of some idiot who never fulfill his words and promises. Then, I was a bit lucky for when I was at the verge of falling down a little mercy came in to support me. Then, thing started to sort out on its own. I noticed how life can be very challenging when one is not properly “plugged” onto the right channel. I have come to the understanding that something has got to be done.
For one and a half years of thinking and pacing myself down, I have met a lot of wonderful people. My journey in life has somehow changed. I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have got to take this chance and I would not hesitate to do it. Hesitation is the only my worst enemy. I know my limit so far. It is just that I hesitate to try and to channel my energy and my knowledge to the possibility. I guess, my new journey in life is about to begin. And, I am giving this opportunity my best.
When I think of it, there are so many challenges in life and there are also so many chances where some people just refuse to take. This is a mistake. I want to learn how people become rich and famous. I certainly want to become one of these people…either rich or famous…or maybe both. As I said, anyone can be one but hesitation stops some of us to reach our goals in life. Confidence level is high, skills can be nurtured, knowledge can be learnt, and experience can be gained. Thus, there is no way a person can’t be who a person wants it to be. The question is… DO YOU DARE? It is time to come out to the open, for me especially. I have been hiding too long. And, I am not getting any younger. The clock is ticking and every time it ticks... there goes my age and time can never be gained unless if one is able to change oneself for better…
Dare to make a change…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
