Ugly Side...

Hi fellas,

If life were too simple and easy, no one would care for it so much. Life indeed requires a lot of sacrifices and efforts to make it more interesting and challenging. I know at this age, a man has to do what a man has to do. I consider myself a very lucky person for I know when to start and when to stop.

Five years ago, I was not an angel... I guess everything seemed to be worthless at that time. I did many things which I did not do and did not expect to do in my entire life. I started smoking. I started drinking and of course with all of these two addictions... discos and clubs were just around the corner. I spent most of my weekends having fun with some people I called "friends". To be honest, I did not even know their real names... Life was a bitch at that time. I had so much cash in hand. I did not know where to spend. I ended up drinking and having fun. For me, the word fun was limitless. I did not care about tomorrow. I thought life was just nothing but enjoying the moment and then when the time comes... that's the end of it.

I was a broken man. I had no dreams, for once in my life. I had no direction. I had only two options... to be or not to be. I forgot that there were other options which I failed or maybe refused to see. I was not sure of everything. I worked...then I enjoyed like there was no tomorrow. I thought I had failed in life when I lost a person that I loved so much at that time. I changed.

Then, one morning I decided to move away from the life that I had. I looked deep into my heart and had a little thought in me. Life is not about what a person loses but what a person can do to keep oneself sane when one is challenged with such a great loss. For one moment, I stood still and looked as far as I could. There were something in me, crying and calling for help. My soul and my sanity were sad. I realized that I could not keep on treating myself that way for it brought more hazard than good. All the perils and sadness were a part of life. I fooled no one but myself. I had to mend my broken heart and be sane.

For the last three years, ever since I moved to this new place, calmness has welcomed me with open arms. And, I made an effort to keep it that way. I slowed down my drinking but I can't stop smoking. Still not an angel, yet. Until one day, I just realized, liquors were totally out of my life. I stopped going to discos and clubs. I became an occasional drinker but only beer. I drink just for fun not till I drop like I used to. I noticed the changes in me. I became sober and that is the man who I am now.

Deep down in me, I am proud of what I could do. I never expect that I would be able to stop what I had started. It was not ugly to some people but I am glad that I am finally out of that circle now. Maybe life has got something more wonderful to be shared with me, after all.

Never regret...