Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Hi fellas,

Transformation is never easy for it requires every single cell in your body to agree with it. To live in the past is synonymous with me and my way of living. However, it is not like the end of the world if I were to change, a bit. There are so many things that I do today, are not really what I used to do back then. I can't help but to notice it bit by bit. Is this good and worthy? Perhaps it is.

I used to think that pink is not my colour. It represents softness and above all WOMEN. I would not imagine myself having any furniture or even clothing in pink. No offense, fellas. I thought it was lame... Now, I find out that pink is a wonderful colour and very soothing to look at. It does not degrade a man and his so called 'toughness' if one were to wear pink. In fact, it brings up glow and tenderness in a man. Mmmm... Am I turning into what I think I am...? Nope. Still hard...oppsss...you don't wanna go there, fellas. What I am saying is I now officially have two pink T-shirts, a pink shirt, a pink tie, a pink bed spread, and a pink computer table. Wow... not to mention, I have a soft toy which I called 'Pinky' simply because she is pink. What...? A soft toy?! Oh dear... don't get me wrong. I am still a man. And, I am wearing an over-sized pink long trainer while I am typing this post. What the heck am I doing...?

My wardrobe used to be pale and dull. I have black T-shirts more than one can imagine. Grey is another colour which I used to love because people say that grey is the new black...yea right. Grey is grey and black is black. Most of my shirts were either black, grey, or dark blue. Boring huh...? But now, I have more colourful shirts and T-shirts in my wardrobe. Why...? Keep on reading, fellas.

One other thing is that, I love ghost stories but I have no guts to watch them alone. I hate it so much when it shocks me. I couldn't sleep well after watching them. I imagined many things and 99.9% of it was ghost. I hated it so much. I don't mind watching two guys strangling each other and shooting at each other but not ghost. On the contrary, now, I have two whole stacks of DVD folders with all ghost movies in them. Weird huh...? Now, read carefully, I did not mention that I love them, I still hate them but I find it more thrilling to watch them... not alone. I still use my dearly bolster to cover my view once in a while especially when the scary scenes are coming up. Chicken huh...? Nope. Just hate to be scared. Why is this happening...?

Though transformation is not an easy thing to be done but it would not hurt to try especially when life seems to be predictable. There is no more thrill in pursuing it hence it is pointless. It is like when one can guess what is coming next, well then, it is the right time for one to change.

The answer to all of the changes in me is MY BB. Thanks to my BB for inspiring me and always believe in me. She is my wardrobe's advisor and of course, my psychologist especially in the ghost thingy. You know what I mean. It is not an award winning and a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious kind of transformation, after all. The most vital thing is I have found the NEW ME. Not bad at all, I would say.

Not bad at all...

Humanity...? Why...?

Hi fellas,

Have you fellas ever wonder why we are all here? Sometimes, I have this slightly crazy thought that pops into my mind. I ask myself now and then. I know people are born and people die. But, what is the reason for the existence of us all here in this tiny world? Mmmm...?

Now, I asked a couple of friends before. They told me that God has created us all and He wants us to see with our own eyes, feel with our heart, taste with our senses, think with our brain and believe in all the creations are made by HIM. Well, that makes sense but still it does not answer the question and doubt that I have in mind. Why? Why are we here? Don't tell me that because He wants us to experience all of these and then says, "Hey there, I am THE CREATOR". Just that? That sounds lame to me.

I don't mean to mock anyone's beliefs or thoughts here. I just need some clarification on the purpose of being here today. I believe in reasoning. Everything that we have today has its own reason to be here. Nothing is created or invented without a purpose, right?

I understand some people who read this post would think that I sound rather disturbing. Well, consider this, we were born, then we get education, then we work and we have families, and then we die. Life is too short and seems rather too simple if we put it that way. Now, please take note, this is not a suicide note or something, okay. Just something to ponder upon.

Some people say that life seems too short but it serves a great deal of purpose like, we challenge ourselves, we reach for the star, we explore new dimensions, we invent countless inventions, we help others, we push ourselves to the limit and finally we DESTROY the world. Big joke huh...? That's it... Ahha...! Eureka! I guess I have found something here. Houston we have a problem!

Fella readers, whether we realize it or not, we are the source of destruction to the world. Despite all of the SAVE the WORLD campaigns and petitions all around the world, we clearly do not know or probably are blinded by our own greed and selfishness, that we are destroying the world hence the future... The message is simple. The signs are everywhere. The fact that, humanity is like some type of virus (sounds like The Matrix, huh), a deadly virus that consumes and then destroys itself and everything around it. That's who we are. With all the masks unveiled, we are no better than predators. Think...

That's why...

Ugly Side...

Hi fellas,

If life were too simple and easy, no one would care for it so much. Life indeed requires a lot of sacrifices and efforts to make it more interesting and challenging. I know at this age, a man has to do what a man has to do. I consider myself a very lucky person for I know when to start and when to stop.

Five years ago, I was not an angel... I guess everything seemed to be worthless at that time. I did many things which I did not do and did not expect to do in my entire life. I started smoking. I started drinking and of course with all of these two addictions... discos and clubs were just around the corner. I spent most of my weekends having fun with some people I called "friends". To be honest, I did not even know their real names... Life was a bitch at that time. I had so much cash in hand. I did not know where to spend. I ended up drinking and having fun. For me, the word fun was limitless. I did not care about tomorrow. I thought life was just nothing but enjoying the moment and then when the time comes... that's the end of it.

I was a broken man. I had no dreams, for once in my life. I had no direction. I had only two options... to be or not to be. I forgot that there were other options which I failed or maybe refused to see. I was not sure of everything. I worked...then I enjoyed like there was no tomorrow. I thought I had failed in life when I lost a person that I loved so much at that time. I changed.

Then, one morning I decided to move away from the life that I had. I looked deep into my heart and had a little thought in me. Life is not about what a person loses but what a person can do to keep oneself sane when one is challenged with such a great loss. For one moment, I stood still and looked as far as I could. There were something in me, crying and calling for help. My soul and my sanity were sad. I realized that I could not keep on treating myself that way for it brought more hazard than good. All the perils and sadness were a part of life. I fooled no one but myself. I had to mend my broken heart and be sane.

For the last three years, ever since I moved to this new place, calmness has welcomed me with open arms. And, I made an effort to keep it that way. I slowed down my drinking but I can't stop smoking. Still not an angel, yet. Until one day, I just realized, liquors were totally out of my life. I stopped going to discos and clubs. I became an occasional drinker but only beer. I drink just for fun not till I drop like I used to. I noticed the changes in me. I became sober and that is the man who I am now.

Deep down in me, I am proud of what I could do. I never expect that I would be able to stop what I had started. It was not ugly to some people but I am glad that I am finally out of that circle now. Maybe life has got something more wonderful to be shared with me, after all.

Never regret...

Back2U

Hi fellas,

Ok...ok... I know that I have been missing for a few months now. I know some of my readers probably have left. I know that I have abandoned my blog for quite a while now. But, good news is... I am BACK! Does anybody miss me, after all? Yes...Nope...?

Since last August, there have been quite a lot of things happening in my little life. One of them is, I have attended two wonderful wedding parties. Not my weddings, of course. I found out that I have earned a few new friends and they are wonderful people. Besides that, I went on a vacation. Again, it was such a wonderful vacation when everything was unplanned and everyone was so happened to be in one place. What else could I ask for? Perfect combinations. We had a lot of fun and unexpected 'joy' too. Other than that, work...work...work...and work... Interesting huh?

Then, without noticing it, time flies like a jet plane. Here we are, at the end of the year. It feels like I haven't done much in this year yet. Why is that so? I don't know... Two answers perhaps, One, I could have done something really really good and I did not notice the time and Two...I could probably have done nothing and yet I enjoyed it... That makes sense, right...?

Well, the answer to the questions why I abandoned my blog for a while is because I need time to think and to collect what is left in me and the world around me. Sometimes, it is good to pause for a while and then perhaps I can come back with new and fresh ideas. Who knows... I hope to share more of me to dear fella readers. And, there will be some photos in this blog, too ( if I can find one that suits).

Do drop me a comment or two. I still love to hear from my fella readers. I don't really mind the nature of your comments...the tone... the words... in fact, I would love to be criticized...if you may. I want to hear what have you got in mind and the reasons why do you think so...

Fellas, love it or hate it...